Our presenter may have had poet ee cummings in mind, when he started by asking us to share in pairs our fondest childhood memories of outdoor play.  Then he collected some of the stories:  climbing trees, collecting acorns, rolling down hills, making food from bark and mud, having lemon wars (in California!).  All these memories, he noted, had to do with nature.  There were no swing sets or climbing gyms, not even any soccer practice or baseball games.

His name is Ken Finch, and he is the director of Green Hearts Institute for Nature in Childhood, whose goal is to bring children and nature back together.  This was a group of early childhood educators, meeting at venerable Smith Playground in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park, dreaming together about the possibility of creating a nature preschool there.  But his message is just as much for parents, and maybe even more.

He shocked us with the numbers.  American children now spend 27 percent of their time engaged with screens and other electronic media.  They spend only one percent of their time these days outside at all, and that includes all organized sports and outdoor play.  For the activities that evoked the fondest memories from everyone in this group—unstructured interaction with nature—today’s children have an average of only 30 minutes a week!

I loved his story about how he handled his own children’s uncertainly about how to make the most of play in their backyard.  He removed the sod from a ten foot square area of the lawn, bought several child-sized—but real—shovels, and waited to see what would happen.  They started to dig.  Then they started to bury things and dig them up.  When their interest began to flag, he introduced the hose.   With this new element, they had everything they needed for endless play, and neighborhood children whom they didn’t even know started knocking on the door and asking if they could come play in the dirt.

His booklet, A Parents’  Guide to Nature Play, offers lots of ideas—beyond creating a dirt pile—on how to “kidscape” your yard.  He suggests introducing water, along with lots of ways to move it around; outdoor seating or a hammock in a sheltered spot; shrubberies for kid-sized hide-aways; a mix of ferns, tall grasses, perennial flowers, shrubs and trees; logs and boulders for playing on; vegetables and berries; loose parts for kid-build forts or dens; leaf piles; butterfly gardens.  He suggests ways to play as a family, nature play tools and toys to keep handy, and simple guidelines for keeping it safe.

Clearly there is a lot that we can do at home as parents to encourage the play that children have always loved so much.  But what about our early childhood education programs?  Most give a nod to nature at one time or another in their classrooms, often with bean seeds in Dixie cups on a window sill.  Some have outdoor play space that includes real natural elements (as contrasted with pre-fab plastic log “cookies”).  Many take occasional field trips to outdoor places.  A few will explore nature intensively through an emergent curriculum project.

Ken Finch is advocating for much more.  He speaks of nature pre-schools as programs that use a natural area as a regular focus, with children going outside every day to enjoy loosely-structured explorations together and play in natural settings, with their own interests and discoveries guiding the exploration, rather than any predetermined activity outlines or academic goals and objectives.  While there are indoor activities as well, natural themes and materials continue to play a prominent role.

In a way it seems sad to have to plan for and organize unstructured outdoor play for small children, but it sure seems better than having them cooped up indoors, glued to screens, getting fat.  Research has shown that free and unstructured play is essential for helping children reach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones, and an early love for nature is the strongest indicator for adults who care about the environment.  So the vision of a nature preschool at Smith Playground is an exciting one.  In the meantime, many early childhood programs are taking small steps toward environmental awareness, and there are always plenty of ways to get out and play.

When I was growing up, there were right and wrong answers to everything, and the adults around me placed a high value on being right. I learned my lessons well, gave hundreds of thousands of right answers in school over more years than I care to think about, and worked hard to avoid any situations in which I might be proved wrong.

I had no idea that becoming a parent would be such a lowering experience in this regard. Almost as soon as they could talk, my children were letting me know how wrong I was. I chose the wrong food, the wrong clothes, the wrong activities, the wrong schedule. As they got older they grew increasingly quick and adept at pouncing on and pointing out every mistake or misstep on my part. I said it would take ten minutes, but it took longer. I said we could have yogurt but there wasn’t any. I said it was supposed to snow and it didn’t. I’d never been so wrong in my life!

I can’t remember when I finally realized that being wrong was simply part of my job description as a parent. It makes sense. The power weighs so heavily in my direction as a parent. They needed a chance to be the right ones. Of course they would delight in any crack in that monolithic presentation of authority. Of course they would notice. Of course they would gloat.

That realization brought a lot of relief. Somehow, if my children needed me to be wrong for their well-being, then the whole picture is cast in a different light. I didn’t have to take it so personally. There was no reason to be overcome by that feeling of angry defensive humiliation at being exposed or accused of a mistake. I could relax into being wrong. Needless to say, this was great for all of us.

It can actually be fun. When he was a teenager, my oldest son and I would joke around about how wrong I was on so many fronts. My errors then tended to be in matters of fashion and taste–liking the wrong music, wearing the wrong colors, spending money on the wrong things. What relief to be able to laugh, confident that all these “mistakes” didn’t have anything to do with my intelligence, or my worth, or the strength of my relationship with the children. It’s just part of the job description. And when I can joke about it, none of us get confused. We’re all good and smart, and we’re all wrong sometimes.

It was interesting, with this realization under my belt, to notice a right/wrong dynamic developing in our house as the boys became more aware of my spelling abilities. This is an area in which I just don’t make mistakes. As they–and their dad—struggle to spell, I am always right. Not a comfortable situation for any of them. I was very pleased one night when it occurred to me, after a speedy, very inaccurate retyping of a column, that my eleven year old might enjoy seeing all my spelling mistakes. So I invited him over to do spell check with me.

He was delighted. And his delight grew with each typo. I would try to pronounce the word as it was written, fail miserably, and shake my head as he laughed and laughed. We laughed at my mistakes and laughed at the often-outrageous alternative suggestions from the computer. When we’d finished checking he snuggled in happily and asked if we could do more. What a perfect opportunity for him to hang out with a far-from-perfect mom. And what a triumph for me! Rather than struggling to be right at any cost, carefully hiding any mistakes that I couldn’t avoid, I had actually chosen to expose them and invite my child to enjoy them with me. What a contrast to the hot, tight defensiveness of the old days. What a gift I’ve gotten as I’ve learned to be wrong.

Law enforcement leaders across Pennsylvania want to make sure that more Pennsylvania children receive high-quality care and education in their early years.  Why do they care?  Because “those on the front lines in the fight against crime know that America’s anti-crime arsenal contains no weapons more powerful than proven programs that keep kids from committing crimes in the first place.”  Thus begins a new study, “High-Quality Early Care and Education; A Key to Reducing Future Crime in Pennsylvania”, by Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, PA.

They have data to back up this assertion.  They cite a longitudinal study of a group of at-risk, low-income 3 and 4 year olds in Michigan, where half were randomly assigned to a quality preschool program, the Perry Preschool, while the other half did not receive preschool services.  Here’s what they say:  “By age 27, children who did not attend the program were five times more likely to become chronic offenders with five or more arrests.  By age 40, those who did not attend the program were two times more likely to become chronic offenders with more than 10 arrests and 50 percent more likely to be arrested for violent crimes.  Children left out of the program were four times more likely to be arrested for drug felonies by age 40, and seven times more likely to be arrested for possession of dangerous drugs.”

Philadelphia District Attorney, Seth Williams, may not be an expert on the research, but the connections make intuitive sense.  He had this to say at a Fight Crime rally in October:  “Don’t bite people.  Don’t take their toys.  Don’t shoot people.  Don’t steal their cars.  Children need to learn conflict resolution, and that starts in pre-K.  Children need to learn how to deal with their anger, and that starts in pre-K.”

If the pre-school program is high quality, not only does it help prevent crime, but it saves money.  The folks who did the Perry Preschool research project have calculated that the returns to society in the cutting of crime, welfare and other costs, are more than $16 for every $1 invested.

Yet somebody isn’t doing the math.  The Fight Crime report goes on to talk about corrections spending.  “Despite strong evidence that high-quality early education can reduce future corrections costs… spending on corrections far surpasses spending on early education.”  Nationally total federal corrections spending is more than double early care and education spending.  In Pennsylvania, it’s even worse.  We spend $2.3 billion on corrections, while only $940 million (a figure that includes Head Start and federal block grant funding) goes to early care and education.

The problem doesn’t stop there.  Not much of that smaller pot of money that Pennsylvania spends on early care and education goes to high quality programs.  “While high-quality early care and education can markedly reduce the risk of school failure and other negative outcomes, low-quality care can actually increase the risk of negative outcomes… From a law enforcement perspective, the early care and education quality issue is especially important because it strikes hardest at those most vulnerable—at-risk children.  When we shortchange the quality of their care, we increase the risk they will grow up to pose a threat to the rest of us.”

Their conclusion is a no-brainer.  “Building a strong early childhood development and learning system for all Pennsylvania’s children, especially its most vulnerable, is an investment that will make all Pennsylvania safer.”

For the full report, click here.

A week after the Newtown tragedy and its aftermath, many of us may still feel as raw, shocked or sickened as we did when the news broke. The Promising Kids team is thinking of our readers, their families and the entire Newtown community as the nation grapples with the enormity of our collective grief.

As parents and caregivers work through a rollercoaster of emotions, children may have their own questions, concerns and reactions including fear, confusion, sadness and anger, to such a frightening and violent incident. Experts recommend parents speak with other parents, friends and neighbors to work through their own feelings and, in turn, help guide children with reassurance. Parents are most likely alert to signs of upset in their children; signs can include withdrawal and a lack of interest in engaging in activities. Providing young ones a quiet time for them to ask any questions they may have can be helpful to address worry.

Above all, reassure children in age-appropriate ways that they are safe. When talking to preschoolers, for example, your response can be simple and direct: “I love you and I will always do everything I can to make you safe.”

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has provided the following guide to discussing violence with your children. Additional resources follow the guide. Please reach out to Promising Kids with any questions or concerns on talking about tragedy with your children.

Start With Yourself

• Determine your own perceptions about what has occurred and recognize your past experiences may influence how you look at the situation.
• Clarify your feelings about what happened, acknowledge them and share them with another adult.
• Consider which personal values have been triggered by the event in question. How does it make you feel?

Engage Your Children

• Recognize that discussions between parents and children in tense situations can also be opportunities for transmitting values and traditions.
• Share development appropriate information based upon what kind of questions your child has and how much information he/she wants to know. Children who are age nine or older are usually very aware of the news and what their parents are talking about.
• Review what actually happened (the facts).
• Share your perceptions of the situation and your feelings about it. Keep in mind that in discussing traumatic events, it is often tempting to respond to the urgency of the moment and to see it as the “worst.” Without diminishing the seriousness of a given circumstance, it is important to keep perspective and convey it. Acknowledge that there are hate groups in this country and that what they promote can be threatening.
• Let them know that many people share their concern over issues of bias, prejudice, stereotyping and violence.
• Emphasize that there are organizations that are dealing with these groups – police, FBI, ADL, etc.
• Put a frightening incident in perspective. Let them know that while there are people who do things that are hard to understand, we live in a wonderful country and, for the vast majority of the time, we are all safe.

Listen to Your Children

• What questions do they have for you?
• How are they feeling?
• Discuss as a family how you want to address these issues. Brainstorm ways you can address these concerns with your own community: standing against name calling in school, making friends with people who are different from you, learning about different groups and identifying ways to enhance your understanding. Be specific about how you can make these things happen.

Considerations for Toddlers and Younger Children

• Give them reassurance. Your statement can be as simple as, “This happened far away and we love you.”
• See what, if any, questions they have so you can judge what they need from you.
• Do not give more specific detail than necessary. Be careful not to frighten your children.

From ADL and Dr. Donald  J. Cohen, Director of Yale Child Study Center and Professor of Child Psychiatry, Pediatrics and Psychology at Yale University

Further Reading and Resources

• Resources from NAEYC: “Coping with Violence.”

• An Exchange article by Diane Levin: “When the World is a Dangerous Place — Helping Children Deal with Violence in the News.
• A New York Times article: “Tips for Talking to Children About the Shooting.“
• Advice from National Child Traumatic Stress Network: “Talking to Children about the Shooting.”
• Advice from the National Association of School Psychologists: “A National Tragedy: Helping Children Cope.”
• A resource from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: “Tips for Talking to Children and Youth after Traumatic Events.”
• Fred Rogers’ advice from Family Communications: “Helping Children Deal with Tragic Events in the News.”

• Advice from the American Psychological Association: “Helping Your Children Manage Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting.”

• Rev. Emily Heath in Huffington Post: “Dealing With Grief: Five Things NOT To Say And Five Things To Say In A Trauma Involving Children”

A three year old had been busily engaged at our family center art table, working on brown paper with broad strokes of black paint.  When her mother came up to admire and ask about the picture, the little girl announced with pride and pleasure that it was a rainbow. Her mother burst out laughing.  I could understand her response.  It was hard to imagine how any picture could look less like a rainbow!

I was going to go on from here to talk about the challenge of appreciating children’s work without judgment—and maybe I will in a future post—but today I’m taken by what there is to be learned about color.  Our association between children and color is a strong one.  We choose colors of paint and wallpaper for our children’s rooms that we wouldn’t dream of using in the rest of the house.  Similarly, we are attracted to early childhood programs that are bright, bright, BRIGHT.  The more posters and decorations and furnishings we see in bold primary colors, the more reassured we are that somebody has our children’s welfare in mind.  Yet this is not necessarily what our youngest children are looking for.  When I think of that little girl and her black/brown rainbow, it is clear that all the color was there—it was just inside her head.

There is growing interest among early childhood educators in revisiting the whole issue of color.  Sandra Duncan, co-author of Inspiring Places for Young Children, suggests that in these new environments, “neutral colors are used on the walls and floors, the furniture is made of natural materials, and the beauty of nature is infused into the room.  Instead of bold and bright colors, generating from the furnishings or wall decorations, the new code brings color into the space through the simple beauty of children’s art”.

These folks also suggest taking down the scalloped borders, alphabet posters and holiday-themed mobiles that hang from the ceiling, arguing that they stifle imagination and silence creativity.   After all, if we do our best work in less busy, cluttered and attention-grabbing surroundings, why should it be different for our children?  Of course, with less on the walls, what happens inside children’s heads and in the spaces between them and other people becomes more important.  This is harder to attend to, and this is where the real gifts of a good early childhood teacher come into play.

So what if we rethought our attraction to color?  What if we saw children’s environments that were loaded up with brightly colored furnishings and decorations not as reassurance, but as a warning sign that those in charge might know more about window dressing than the dynamic internal life of a child?  What if we chose quieter environments for our children, environments that went for beauty rather than cuteness, environments that had space for nature and thoughtfully presented children’s art?  Everyone would breathe a little deeper, and we would just be left with the question of how best to frame a wildly-creative, passionately painted brown and black rainbow.